I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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