Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize