His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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