apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
my liver is dry heaving
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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