Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
