Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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