I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
