I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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