so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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