A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
