TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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