all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
