Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
