FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
