Me. At least after what I've been through.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
