his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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