scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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