I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
