Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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