i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How naked do you want me to be?
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