can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
