so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
