I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
