I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we're making bets on your personal life
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize