i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
