Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
