Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
