I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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