she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize