dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
