Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize