Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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