I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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