did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
