Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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