A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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