dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well I just put wine in my tea
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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