he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
