I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize