god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Randomize
