U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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