The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize