We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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