i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
