Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Your cock deserves a montage
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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