It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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