How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
