im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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