Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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