The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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