Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
