Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
