Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
