you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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