Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
