At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
