just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
