stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
