Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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