Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
