No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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