I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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