4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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