How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize