Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
