They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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