worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We have so much sex to catch up on
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
