why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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