All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish I only lived at night.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
