One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I deserve this hangover.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
