hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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