Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
