there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
