Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
