considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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