Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
