just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
