community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
