On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
birth control should be required to get into college
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
