I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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