Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Text me some of your sweat
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
