just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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