I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
