This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
