I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
