Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
