just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
