im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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