also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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