Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
