I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ok first of all what the fuck
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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