I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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